Obama Declares, “We are at war"

In an "unprecedented" grasp of the obvious, Barack Obama declared on Thursday, “We are at war, we are at war against al Qaeda.” The president thereby made it it clear that he is now aware of what every sane American has known for years.

To prove that he now realizes we may be under attack, the president said that he would assign “specific responsibility for all leads on high priority threats. Not just most of the time but all of the time.” He also said he would direct all intelligence to be “distributed more rapidly and more widely” among federal agencies; direct greater integration of intelligence analysis; and order security agencies to immediately add more people to the Terrorism Watch List, specifically the “No Fly” list.

Had he known earlier that we were at war with al Qaeda, perhaps he would have made these actions a priority instead of making fruitless trips abroad for the Chicago Olympics, undeserved awards and Global Goring. Then again.....