Sunday, May 01, 2005

Laura Bush, Stand Up Comic

I love our first lady. Can you imagine Teresa pulling this off?


US first lady Laura Bush has stolen the show with a surprise comedy routine that teases her husband President George W Bush.

The performance at a dinner honouring award-winning journalists brought a standing ovation from the audience - that included much of official Washington and a dash of Hollywood.

The president planned a speech at the 91st annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner today, but was quickly interrupted by his wife in the obviously planned ploy.

The president then sat down while his wife entertained the guests with the comedy routine.

Joining the Bushes were Vice-President Dick Cheney and his wife Lynne, nine Cabinet members and two Supreme Court justices.

News organisations hosted show business and sports stars such as Goldie Hawn, LL Cool J, Richard Gere, Jane Fonda and the starting quarterbacks of this year's Super Bowl, Tom Brady of the New England Patriots and Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Meanwhile, the first lady went on to quip that one night she went out to Chippendales, a male strip bar, with Lynne Cheney, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and top Bush aide Karen Hughes.

"I wouldn't even mention it, except (Supreme Court Justices) Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there," she said. "I won't tell you what happened. But Lynne's secret service code name is now 'dollar bill'."

Laura Bush also joked about the president's mother Barbara Bush. "People think she's a sweet grandmotherly aunt Bea type. She's actually more like (fictional Mafia capo) Don Corleone."

She said that her husband actually knew little about ranching when they bought their ranch in Crawford, Texas.

"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year, when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse," she said.

The president now often spends time at the ranch clearing brush and cutting trails. "George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and (Defence Secretary Donald) Rumsfeld get along so well."

One of her main targets was the president's bed time.

"I said to him the other day, 'George, if you really want to end tyranny in this world, you're going to have to stay up later,"' Laura Bush said. "Nine o'clock and Mr. Excitement here is in bed, and I am watching 'Desperate Housewives' -- with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife."

Laura Bush also ribbed her husband for his notoriously rowdy youth, but said they were meant to be together.

"I was a librarian that spent 12 hours a day in the library. Yet somehow I met George."

And we're all glad you did!

From The Sydney Morning Herald.

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