Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sunday Funny

A very successful attorney for the ACLU went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."

The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not trespassing on it."

The lawyer replied angrily, "I am one of the finest trial attorneys in the ACLU. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue your butt and you'll be lucky to keep your overalls by the time I'm done"

The old farmer smiled. "Well now, I guess you don't know how we do things here in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer laughed and asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer answered, "Well, since it's my property I go first. I get to kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up. It's quicker and cleaner then going to court."

The attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old man. He agreed to settle things by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick to the shin had the lawyer hopping around on one foot when suddenly the farmer planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. The attorney was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to the tailbone nearly caused him to pass out.

The lawyer summoned every bit of will he could muster, struggled to his feet and said, "Okay, old man, now it's my turn. I'm going to kick your redneck butt to hell and back."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

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