It's Looney Rooney Time, It's Looney Rooney Time

I was thinking that cBS should get Andy Rooney and Walter Cronkite to put their heads together so they could make a complete ass of themselves. They could call it the "Anus and Andy Show".

The following is taken from a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by Andy Rooney.

The interspersed comments are mine.


"I'm not really clear how much a billion dollars is but the United States — our United States — is spending $5.6 billion a month fighting this war in Iraq that we never should have gotten into."

Let's face it Andy, you're not too clear on anything except maybe the price of prunes and a pack of Depends.

"We still have 139,000 soldiers in Iraq today."

"Almost 2,000 Americans have died there. For what? "

To keep your sorry butt safe, Andy, along with the rest of us.

"Now we have the hurricanes to pay for."

Think hard now Andy, we've had hurricanes before and we've had to pay for those also. That's why you have insurance in case there is storm damage. Did you remember to pay the premium?

One way our government pays for a lot of things is by borrowing from countries like China.

Well, we have to pay the bills yuan way or another!

Another way the government is planning to pay for the war and the hurricane damage is by cutting spending for things like Medicare prescriptions, highway construction, farm payments, AMTRAK, National Public Radio and loans to graduate students. Do these sound like the things you'd like to cut back on to pay for Iraq?

NPR first!

"I'll tell you where we ought to start saving: on our bloated military establishment."

Speaking of bloated, Andy, did you remember to take your milk of magnesia? You wouldn't want to go through that hot Vicks enema thing again would you?

No other Country spends the kind of money we spend on our military. Last year Japan spent $42 billion. Italy spent $28 billion, Russia spent only $19 billion. The United States spent $455 billion.
We have 8,000 tanks for example. One Abrams tank costs 150 times as much as a Ford station wagon.

Most of us want our military well equipped Andy. It's hard to get guys to go over the top in old country Country Squires and Pintos.

"We have more than 10,000 nuclear weapons — enough to destroy all of mankind."

"We're spending $200 million a year on bullets alone. That's a lot of target practice. We have 1,155,000 enlisted men and women and 225,000 officers. One officer to tell every five enlisted soldier what to do. We have 40,000 colonels alone and 870 generals."

'We had a great commander in WWII, Dwight Eisenhower. He became President and on leaving the White House in 1961, he said this: “We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. …"'

"Well, Ike was right. That's just what’s happened."

Rooney, you have no idea what happened an hour ago. You have been out of touch with the real world for decades. CBS seems to think you're cute so they allow you to babble your little rambling commentary. Then, it's wipe off the chin with the bib time and back to the rocking chair until next week.

And by the way, Ike also said, "History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."